dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
