A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
