haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
