Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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