Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
