meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Dear god my vagina.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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