her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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