I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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