Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
