I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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