Your face is a jimmy john
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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