Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
