So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
