I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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