I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just pee around me
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize