Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
