it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
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She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
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We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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