We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
