but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize