Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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