So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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