I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Green mimosas i think yes
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
