she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
