I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
