I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
