I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize