I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
