ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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