it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize