Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i think im in europe. pls send help
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
