Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
