I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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