NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
