Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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