I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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