I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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