My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize