The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
