Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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