the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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