then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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