I just made out with a guy for $7.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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