butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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