Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize