i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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