Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
do herpes really smell.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
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I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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