Me. At least after what I've been through.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
