I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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