Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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