I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
im six kinds of drunk right now
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
