Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
pray to the hookup gods
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
