I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
