dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
