Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
