This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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