i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
