let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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